DOMINOS – A Fantasy Story


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 A Fantasy Menu Story

After seeing this description for a Domino’s Pizza Order ingredient

“Robust Inspired Tomato Sauce”

I was inspired to write this (Seinfeld J-Peterman catalog story)

description of a fantasy Dominos menu item.



Robust INSPIRED Tomato Sauce? REALLY Dominos Inspired?

Why not grow a pair and write a complete and bold lie.

Artisan crafted pizza made to order by Pietro, a 76 year old immigrant.

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Pietro arrived yesterday from Saluzzo Italy by ship, bringing with him only, his Great-Grandmother’s (Francesca) recipe. Pietro smuggled in the finest and freshest home grown ingredients, arriving with only those ingredients (taped to his body) and the clothes on his back.

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PIetro travelled straight to this Domino’s location, exhausted and parched, and immediately began creating your internet placed order by laboring over the hot stovetop, perfecting his Great Grandmothers Gravy (Sauce for the layman)

Pietro hand tossed his dough created from scratch using the golden wheat that he imported from the fields of Castelluccio during his journey to this Domino’s NY Location.

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Pietro is now adding the oregano, hand picked from his cousin’s (Mateo) neighbors garden in the picturesque town of Alberobello.

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Your Domino’s order will arrive in 15 minutes or less. Delivered on pedaled  Bike, by Alessandro, who travelled with Pietro in the cargo hold of the container ship, in which they stowed away.

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We have added Pietro’s 6 year old son’s (Lorenzo) handcrafted chocolate Lava cakes to your order, because we at Dominos value your loyalty as our customer.


Enjoy your new Domino’s Hand Crafted Individual Artisan Pizza.

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Pietro makes $4.45 an hour and lives in our store basement with his son Lorenzo, Cousin Mateo, Grandmother Francesca and 14 other family members.



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